Mental Health Ministry: The Language of Compassion for Pastors

Pastors and church leaders often want to help those struggling with mental health, but even well-meaning words can hurt more than heal. This article explores the power of compassionate language in mental health ministry, offering practical phrases that build trust and dignity, while retiring those that unintentionally cause harm.

When someone in your congregation shares struggles with anxiety, OCD, depression, or loneliness, your heart is in the right place. You want to offer hope, point them to Christ, and come alongside them. But sometimes, even the most well-intended words can wound rather than heal.

Pastor Jonathon Seidl’s keynote at the Thrive and Cultivate Loneliness Summit reminds us that language can lift someone from isolation—or inadvertently push them deeper into it. Especially when considering both those directly impacted and their loved ones, our words matter more than we realize.

Proverbs 18:21 reminds us, “The tongue has the power of life and death.” As church leaders, we speak into souls every week—our content, tone, and nuance are never neutral. When someone already feels unseen or unworthy, a careless phrase can feel like confirmation of their fears.

Shocking Facts About Loneliness, Anxiety & Depression

To craft compassionate language, we first need to understand the scope of the challenge:

• Loneliness
  A recent Harvard study found that 21% of U.S. adults report feeling lonely, often experiencing anxiety, depression, or a sense of no meaning or purpose (81% of lonely adults reported anxiety/depression; 75% reported minimal purpose) (Making Caring Common).
  
  
• Daily loneliness
  Gallup reports 20% of U.S. adults feel loneliness for much of the previous day—the highest level in two years (Gallup.com, People.com).
  
  
• Loneliness as an epidemic
  Some research shows that as many as 1 in 3 adults report feeling lonely, and 1 in 4 lack social or emotional support (CDC).
  
  
• Anxiety
  According to the CDC, in 2022, roughly 18.2% of adults experienced symptoms of anxiety and 21.4% experienced symptoms of depression in the previous two weeks (CDC).
  
  
• Anxiety disorders (NIMH)
  19.1% of U.S. adults experienced an anxiety disorder in the past year (lifetime risk is ~31%) (National Institute of Mental Health).
  
  
• Depression
  NIMH reports that 8.3% of U.S. adults had at least one major depressive episode in 2021, especially high among those aged 18–25 (18.6%) (National Institute of Mental Health).
  
  

These numbers tell us what pastors already sense: mental health struggles—and the loneliness they often carry—are not rare outliers. They are part of the lived reality in most churches.

Common Harmful Phrases To Retire In Mental Health Ministry

 Words like this often slip out—but they wound:

• “Just stop worrying.”
  
  
• “If you just prayed more, you’d feel better.”
  
  
• “Aren’t you over this already?”
  
  
• “At least it’s not as bad as what others are going through.”
  
  

They may sound practical, but to someone already wrestling with shame, these words can feel like dismissal.

Phrases That Heal and Build Trust in Mental Health Ministry

 Instead, pastors can model phrases rooted in presence and compassion:

• “I’m here with you in this.”
  
  
• “Thank you for trusting me with what you’re carrying.”
  
  
• “You don’t have to go through this alone.”
  
  
• “This sounds heavy. How can I walk with you?”
  
  

These statements don’t fix the struggle, but they communicate dignity, presence, and empathy—the foundation for healing

Practical Guidance for Pastors & Lay Leaders 

• Train your teams
  Equip elders, small-group leaders, and volunteers with compassionate communication training rooted in these phrases.
  
  
• Normalize vulnerability
  From the pulpit or in conversation, model that the church is a place where mental health conversations are welcome.
  
  
• Embrace honesty
  Teach that saying “I don’t know all the answers, but I’m here with you” is powerful ministry.
  
  

Don’t Overlook Caregivers

Spouses, partners, and loved ones often feel unseen or dismissed in anxiety and depression journeys. Intentional affirmation—not neglect—sends a message that the whole family’s health matters.

Invitation to Go Deeper

You don’t have to figure this out alone. The Thrive and Cultivate Loneliness Summit brings voices like Jonathon Seidl and other faith-centered experts together to equip pastors with practical strategies to support both persons in crisis and their caregivers.

Register today for the Loneliness Summit—a free online event designed to help your church speak life even in the loneliest seasons.

The Language of Compassion in Mental Health Ministry

Words hold incredible power. In the church, we can either lift someone toward healing or unintentionally reinforce their isolation. But by embracing compassionate speech, we can create a community where both caregivers and those suffering feel seen, heard, and held.

When the church speaks with gentleness, truth, and presence—that’s where healing begins.

Don’t miss the Loneliness Summit from Thrive and Cultivate, where we dive deep into Mental Health Ministry topics and equip you to talk and minister around mental health topics.